When someone says “no” to you next time you ask for a date – they may well have a reason behind it.

You also might be avoiding a relationship too – for reasons you’re not aware of until you’re confronted by them.

Do you want a commitment?
If you do, then take a look at this list of things why your relationship may never get to a commitment stage, unless you change some key aspect of your relationship skills.

1. Fear of exposure. Lets face it confiding in someone is scary stuff, as most of the time you don’t know what they will do with it. Sharing your innermost thoughts is especially a risk with some people who will turn around and then use all that close sharing against you to remind you how inadequate you might be.

There is a big difference between being naked body to body and being naked with your life story and emotional secrets. Most people are least worried about being seen naked vs that of sharing their innermost thoughts.

2. Abandonment and Rejection.
By far and away being dumped is the biggest fear people hold. Especially when they find you attractive and great company.

In fact most people can handle a one night stand better than they can handle a relationship break up. The key reason being is that in a relationship they have invested much more emotion and more personal space with you in the relationship.

It can take people typically from 3 months to 6 months to get over an average relationship break up. The average marriage break up can take a little longer up to 12 months or more in some cases.

A lot of new single again people stay in the sidelines purely out of fear about being dumped.

3. Individuality Being Engulfed. If you date a controlling partner, you are sure to feel like leaving. Some dating partners control who you see as friends, how often you might speak to your family or even when you go to bed at night. If you have a partner who plans everything out to the tiniest detail, look again at who you’re dating.

Some partners can’t handle being on their own when they begin dating. They immediately take control of the relationship and before you know it, you’ve lost your voice in speaking about it.

4. Your Own Destructive Powers.
Often we don’t know it, but we each hold to some degree a type of self sabotage towards relationships . We might be the jealous type but to such a level that we drive away a partner by being very suspicious all the time. Or we might we the type who can’t forgive people for simple human mistakes.

A lot of relationships have amazing potential to not only survive, but to thrive if we see beyond the strong stance we make towards our partners misgivings.

5. Fear Of Angry Attacks.
Childish temper tantrums and shouting matches are sure fire relationships killers. If your relationship has more than 1 shouting match in a year then you run the certain risk that your relationship will fail.

Same too with the “Silent Treatment” games people play in relationships. These are just as bad at disorienting a relationship and keeping you in childish emotional states with your partner.

What gives with dating?

I asked a few couples in their 80′s why they had been with each other for so long. The answers were enlightening.

• Acceptance of your partner and the mistakes they make.

• Quick forgiveness and willing to see beyond errors in they made.

• Tolerance of your partner’s views on the world. They maybe unable to see your way about things or simply just happy with where they are at present. Either way, give them space and let them do their thing.

The people who marry for life are often in the category where they aren’t too picky. 

And those who are very successful at dating often have a happy attitude towards life and people and are not that easily put off by all the things commonly do wrong.

More Dating Tips
http://www.simplysolo.com/articles.htm

Question is does Bridget Jones reflect what dating singles really experience?

Well Yes and No – like most movies, you could say Bridget Jones is partly a caricature and a generalization of singles all over. Plus it is designed for entertainment value too. Nothing beats holding viewers on their seats that an on screen conflict, tensions between people and the key character trying to weigh up a decision about a life choice matter – in this case who to date or marry?

More recently, we’ve seen movies about Failure to Launch – a new problem where kids don’t leave home but stay on for years and years living almost rent free or free. This type of thing has the home stayers lacking in dating skills and resisting longer term relationships in some cases. Bridget Jones is a bit more advanced than this fortunately but Bridget feels a lack of achievement when Xmas time came around in the first two movies at least.

Bridget Jones also pins down what dating choices can be like when singles work so hard at their job they have little time left for social activities after. It also shows how a smaller world of friends can lead to unnecessary loneliness when living in a big city many more options are available to meet new people. When we look at being in a country town is like dating choices can be very limiting for some.

On a personal note, I’ve enjoyed the Bridget Jones series, so I’m looking forward to what the next installment will be like in 2 years time.